$$$ Gifts. . .??? ... Included in a sympathy card???...?

Rather than flowers, or donations to a charity?


Would this be %26#039;proper%26#039;? or an insult?


Seems that everyone can use cash, to help pay final expenses. . .

$$$ Gifts. . .??? ... Included in a sympathy card???...?
A gift card would be less blantant than cash. And one to the supermarket is pretty much a cash equivilant - everyone shops there every week.





I suppose you could contact the funeral home directly and ask to make an annonymous donation. I would take that kindly. I was struck and touched that the FH didn%26#039;t charge us (their policy for the death of young children).





Don%26#039;t discount the donations to charities, especially if one was selected by the family. I found those to be very meaningful to me.





While this is more of a small town thing, you can still do it in the big city: You can bring over a meal (lasagna, salad, bread) in throwaway containers with enough for leftovers. During grief, it can be a relief to have simple things like that (or mow the lawn, board the dog, etc) taken care of.





Also, strongly consider something like bringing a meal over, having them out to dinner or sending a card that you are thinking of them a few months from now. Everyone is really kind and thoughtful for a week or two and then, reasonably enough, they move on and figure the relatives have too. But months later, they are still impaired and (at a lower level) griefing. But no one acknowledges that anymore and they can be hesitate to ask for help.





Don%26#039;t worry about %26quot;reminding%26quot; them of their loss. They already know! Every day, every hour. It is more comfortable to have it acknowledged than to leave it unsaid. It can be as simple as %26quot;You%26#039;re still in my thoughts (or %26quot;prayers%26quot; if you KNOW they%26#039;re religious) and wondered if you wanted to talk or go out together%26quot;. Or %26quot;I was thinking of Bob the other day and how he always used to . . .%26quot;
Reply:Depends on the situation. If a group is sending a card (most people take up money for a co-worker for example) then it is appropriate.





If the funeral announcement specificially states %26quot;in lieu of flowers%26quot; and asks for money to be made to a particular charity, than the family is not really in dire straits and would rather money be sent to that organization.





Personally, I think a nice note placed in the sympathy card with an extended invitation to get together when it is a good time for that person would be best. After the service and everyone is gone, that is when people need the company.
Reply:Yes, I agree at times of loss, or what have you, cash would be appreciated., however I think it would be taken badly in most cases.



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