Saturday, April 11, 2009

What to bring for sympathy (death)?

My girlfriend and her families good faimly friend recently had a death in the family. You may have seen it on the news. The Zahornacky man who was found in a lake this morning. I am leaving work early to go over there and was wondering the following.





Is it ok to bring flowers so soon? If so what kind?





Is there something else I could bring?

What to bring for sympathy (death)?
White lillies.
Reply:Flowers are usually something sent to a funeral. Most people bring food, a few good ideas are basket of muffins, breads, etc, or meat tray, veggie tray, something for them to have when people come over, and it is also something for them to eat, because naturally people forget to each when they are grieving and really have no time to cook with all the preparations that need to be made. It is always been helpful when I have had a death in the family and people have brought over food.
Reply:i would bring food they`re not going to feel like cooking
Reply:I think your being there for support is the most important thing you can bring at this time. There are so many things going on during a tragedy for a family, that having someone there for them is so important. You really don%26#039;t have to bring anything, when you arrive, just ask if there is anything that they would like for you to do, or anything that they need. You are a good friend and I think just being that is the most important.
Reply:Yeah, flowers are great, just don%26#039;t pick up anything really cheap just because you are in a hurry. Homemade food is usually appreciated - something you can just heat up like a casserole, because nobody feels like cooking.
Reply:Well, there are all kinds of cultural traditions...


is this family liekly to have a gathering at their house? Even if you don%26#039;t go, some kind of prepared food might make thier lives and finances just a bit easier. I personally would appreciate that a whole lot more than flowers (especially bc they make me sneeze.)


Also, I don%26#039;t know the situation, but if this has the media involved, might there be a related charity? Might a fund be set up for the family?


That would be the best of all.


May each of you, including the supporters, have all the support you need!





But if not,


Hey, help out with the food.
Reply:Its fine to bring flowers, if you ask the florist they will tell you what kind is appropriate. just bring your sympathy.
Reply:White lilies sign of sorrow and peace.


donate to their fav. charity.
Reply:In the South we bring food because it%26#039;s the last thing the grieving family is thinking about. I%26#039;ve picked up fried chicken, a pie, made sandwiches... that sort of thing. The time to send flowers is to the funeral home before the viewimg of the body.
Reply:Flowers are ok, but you might want to wait for the funeral. Bring food and a sympathy card.
Reply:flowers would be ok. food is also something you usually can%26#039;t go wrong with.
Reply:Respect for their sorrow and discipline to say the right thing...that%26#039;s really all you need to have with you. If you are going around meal time perhaps pick up a meat and cheese tray from a local market...just in case anyone has skipped eating or simply doesn%26#039;t want to go thru the trouble of preparing a meal...or seeming selfish for being hungry.
Reply:white lilys, no its not too soon!
Reply:I am sorry to hear about your loss.


As strange as this may sound, bring a dinner. Something they can just throw in the oven and not worry about. The last thing they are going to want to do is cook something. So this way at least you know they are going to eat, in this time of sorrow
Reply:I can tell you, as someone who has been in mourning, that food that has been prepared and only needs reheating is a nice thing.





When you%26#039;re grieving, the last thing you want to do is cook dinner.
Reply:Right now, just go and offer support to the family. You do not need to take anything with you.
Reply:flowers would be nice, or people always bring food.


just a suggestion.
Reply:White lilies would be good.
Reply:just being there and having a shoulder to cry on good enough sometimes we feel like we need to bring something but having a friend there at a sad time is good so they would know who to turn to when they need to talk
Reply:It%26#039;s traditional to bring food to a mourning family, so that they don%26#039;t have to prepare meals for all their visitors. There is a great cookbook out there called %26quot;Being Dead is No Excuse%26quot; that has recipes for all the traditional mourning foods from the South.
Reply:Bring something for the family to eat. There will be many people stopping by and there should be little finger foods, water, and soda for he host family and the guest to eat. If you bring a flower let it be a plant, if they have plants. Perhaps a fruit basket will do the job woth out over doing it
Reply:flowers are good... though my assumption would be that they have plenty... Consider making food or purchasing some food... Cookies tend to go over nicely as do brownies... Offer to make/bring dinner for the family one night as I%26#039;d assume this is going to be rather drawn out and the last thing they care about right now is making food... Also in the long run, a small donation to a charity in honor of the man who passed away is probably the most heart-felt.
Reply:What a sad story.


I would get a sympathy arrangement sent to the home.


Maybe not today but tomorrow.


I sure hope they find out what happened.
Reply:Any flowers are appropiate, or food such as a simple casserole or lasagna, the last thing people want to do is cook when they are grieving and food is comforting.
Reply:From experience:


Go over there and show your support. Be yourself. Don%26#039;t avoid talking about the decease, since that is all the people that are grieving are thinking about. Most people avoid even saying their name, say it often.


Remember that there is no one way to grieve and the family members will grieve differently.


In the next few days bring food. Remind them of a past story of the decease, talk often about them.



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